hi i'm jordan and you're so cute
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laptopped:

what the fuck does a person even use as a caption?

safe-behind-bars:

anothergayshark:

I’ve never watched an episode of Game of Thrones in my life and even I know that you don’t fuck with the blonde dragon lady.

and that the kid with the crown is the human version of period cramps

nayx:

this is so illegal.  we’re going to get in so much trouble.  you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs

thisisntmeimnotmechanical:

territorialcreep:

sir-hathaway:

"NO, HUMAN! I KEES YOU FIRST." -smooch, slap slap slap-

I read that in a very french accent

I love that cat’s mustache.

natjax:

natjax:

In my dorm room we have a neutrogendered purple alien named George and we tuck him into bed every night

Yeah I was not expecting this to be so popular

gostle:

hey

calmility:

the fastest word i can type is motherlode

hotwinger:

Every member of The Wiggles has had sex, probably.

buildabitchworkshop:

fuck you you foolish dragon motherfucker

uglysoulsbeautifulbodies:

DO NOT DISMISS A SOMETHING A CHILD IS PROUD OF. LOOK AT IT. POINT SOMETHING OUT AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE IT. IF A CHILD DRAWS YOU A RAINBOW, TELL THEM YOU LOVE HOW IT HAS RED. THEY WILL THINK “WOW. IT DOES HAVE RED. THEY LOVE HOW I PUT RED IN IT. I PUT RED IN IT. AND THEY NOTICED.” MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS YOU ARE PROUD OF THEM.

lindsaylohansmugshot:

my friend played the most fucked up prank on her mom and there are tears streaming down my face

ugly:

this guy in my class is wearing shorts, socks with sandals, a shirt that says swag on it, and a snapback he is definitely straight